Ewan...
Since Ewan is my youngest... and by far my wiliest...I have a lot more to share about this adorable little guy!
That's what you get for licking the dog! I decided to buy Trix brand yogurt (with the rabbit) because it was on sale. Although I couldn't tolerate it, the kids absolutely loved the neon shades of green and pink the yogurt came in. While at the table snacking on his yogurt, Ewan had a sneaky little thought pop in his head. He took his yogurt and dumped it all over Zoe's back. I did what most parents would NOT have done and grabbed the camera to record the action. At that point... a sort of symbiosis started to take place between Ewan and Zoe. Zoe could not reach the yogurt on her back... but she could reach Ewan's messy hands, shirt and face. Zoe very intently focused on licking the yogurt off of Ewan. After a few seconds of receiving a Zoe spit bath, Ewan decided to return the favor to Zoe and give her back a lick. I was quite grossed out. That was the end of picture taking and time for a bath. A short while later, Ewan started to cough and gag... pointed at his throat and said "hair". I bet you can guess my response... "That's what you get for licking the dog!"
I must say the contrast between the neon green and Zoe's black fur was quite shocking.
Zoe's eyes look "Yogurt-crazed" as she intently licks Ewan clean.
Right after the lick took place...
You can probably tell from the picture quality that I was quite shocked.
I will have chocolate ice cream and vanilla and strawberry and...all in bed! Ewan decided to help himself to several buckets of ice cream one night. I had put the kids to bed and quickly crashed on the couch. I was awoken to Aidan very apologetically informing me that Ewan was eating ice cream in bed. Like any parent, I was immediately wide-eyed, up and moving to Ewan's room. I arrived to see Ewan in the middle of his bed with several tubs of melted ice cream. He was eating it by fist fulls and had gooey ice cream mess from head to toe and spread across his little bed. The rest you all can figure out (a heck of a lot of cleaning took place!)
Falling out the window - Lucky for Ewan our home is single story. After being told repeatedly not to climb in the window... Ewan decided to do it once again and performed a face plant in the dirt outside the window (He's taking after his Aunt Dae Dae on that one). I heard him crying, but did not realize Ewan fell out the window. I went searching for him and Aidan was nearby so I asked him where Ewan was... to which he replied, "Oh... he fell out the window" as casually as if I asked him where a toy was. Fortunately... Ewan only ended up with a bloody nose, a lump on the head and a new found respect for the window.
Streaking in the front yard - Ewan was very difficult to keep in a diaper. Once he figured out how to remove it... I could barely keep a diaper on him. Before I had children, I thought this was a tad weird. In fact, I remember asking my cousin Chris about it once when her children where streaking in front of me... and she said all toddlers do it. Well... I did not believe her at the time... but she proved to be correct! In addition to the lack of clothing, I also had problems trying to keep Ewan in the house. He was bound and determined to escape. Then one day it happened. I am sure he planned it out in his little 2 1/2 year old brain. "Wait until mommy uses the potty and make a run for it!" I wasn't gone long and came out to no Ewan in the living room where I left him. I asked Caitlin and Aidan where Ewan was. They did not know. I did a quick look through the house and all of a sudden I saw something streak in front of the window. It was a naked Ewan and he was running out front for the world to see. I quickly ran out and grabbed him praying that are our neighbors managed to miss it.
Caitlin...
The definition of "Powdy - Pants": During diaper changing... liberally pour baby powder on child's bottom. Securely fasten diaper. Stand child up and give them a gentle pat on the bottom to go play. Powder then puffs out from the edges of the diaper and into your face, as well as the surrounding air. This causes you to blink rapidly as powder feels like it is scratching your eye balls as well as go into a coughing fit. Children then laugh and run around snapping their diapers so powder puffs out all over your carpet. The first time this happened was with Caitlin, but it became an activity that all three of my kids loved to do back in their diaper days.
It's the crib or the leg - One day Caitlin awoke from her nap and managed to stick her leg through an opening in the backboard of the crib. Mike and I knew right away that something was wrong by the way she was crying. When we went into her room we saw her little leg squished through the opening. Mike and I both immediately left her room, each with a different mental plan on how to rescue our daughter's leg. I went to the kitchen... he went to the garage. Unfortunately the garage was closer so Michael made it back first. I walked back into Caitlin's room holding a bottle of vegetable oil to see Mike with a hack saw... sawing on the expensive crib. I quickly said in shock, "What are you doing? STOP!" to which Michael replied... "I am getting her leg out!". Panic left, sanity sunk in and I was able to use the vegetable oil on Caitlin's leg. End result... Caitlin's leg was freed and her crib had a one inch saw mark in it that I was questioned about when I traded her crib in at Other Mother's Exchange.
The eating habits of a messy girl... To this day... Caitlin is by far, the messiest eater of my three children.
Squirrel cheeks: Will any more fit?
Yes... that's a spaghetti wig
Caitlin... Aidan... Bobo ...
and the great mess / missing hot dog caper (July 2003)
and the great mess / missing hot dog caper (July 2003)
This one I did write down (some of you might remember)!
Aidan and I sat down to have lunch at the kitchen table. I pulled Caitlin over near us so she could watch us from her infant seat. Aidan was having Spaghettio's and I was going to have a hot dog with the emphasis on "going to". Aidan had already started eating and my hot dog was warming in the microwave. Caitlin began to coo and gurgle about this time, so I looked over to respond back to her. That is when I noticed the bright yellow sock. Now that may not seem unusual to you, but when I put her socks on her cute little feet earlier that morning, they were pink and white. As it turned out, Caitlin finally decided to poop after a two day hiatus. I did not think too much about the yellow sock until I lifted the purple receiving blanket to see the worse mess I had ever seen. In fact, I don't think any other child on the face of this earth could have made a mess to compare with this. She was coated from the waste down (FRONT and back, I'll have you know) in a mustard yellow, poopy mess. I immediately realized that this is going to require a lot more effort than I anticipated and proceeded to retrieve the necessary supplies before attempting the clean up.
I placed a large waterproof pad on the floor, a new little shirt, socks, wipes and a diaper. Next, I lifted Caitlin out onto the pad and attempted to wipe her down. Eventually, whether it was one minute or five... I couldn't tell you... I realized that I was pretty much just moving the mess around and the only way to cure this problem was to give her a bath. During this time, Aidan decided he was done with his spaghettio's. To add to the current dilemma, Aidan was now orange around his mouth, belly and hands. I decided that the quickest way to deal with both Aidan and Catlin was to give them both a bath. Now for the next mess in this story!
Note: For the weak of stomach... you might want to bypass this next paragraph!
I rinsed Caitlin first, and then ran fresh water in the tub for both kids. they were splashing in the tub, when I heard a strange noise coming from the dinning room (where the mess started and had still remained). I quickly washed and dried Caitlin, dressed her and placed her in the bassinet. I then peaked out from the bathroom to witness Bobo (our first pet) dragging and shredding Caitlin's very messy diaper around the dining room floor. Dogs can be so gross!!!! I quickly hollered at Bo and he ran off. I then decided to remove Aidan from his bath a little earlier than he anticipated so that I could survey the damage Bo inflicted to my dinning room carpet with Caitlin's messy diaper. I was not very happy, but began the process of cleaning up the now larger mess that included scrubbing my carpet.
I finished scrubbing the dinning room carpet and was on to the laundry room... to wash Caitlin's clothing. It was while spraying Caitlin's clothing, blanket and infant seat cover with stain remover when I heard a suspicious sounding giggle coming from the (once again) dinning room. I promptly decided that this needed checking into. I walked into the room to discover Aidan eating the remaining Spaghettio's from his bowl... and in addition to eating them... he was dumping them on Bo's back and carpet as well!!! Once again. Aidan was orange, but along with him... my freshly scrubbed carpet and Bo where also orange too! I cleaned Aidan and Bo off with a damp rag and started in with the resolve on the dinning room carpet yet again.
Just when I think it is all about to finally end...
I finished cleaning up the Spaghettio mess which did leave a nice orange stain, convinced Caitlin to nap, and put Aidan in his room where he was begrudgingly sitting on his bed. I decided to sit down and rest for a few minutes when I realized my hot dog was still in the microwave. Being that at least 45 minutes had passed since the hot dog had finished cooking and the great mess began... I decided to reheat my hot dog for the second time. I was sitting at my computer, finally enjoying my first two mouthfuls of my lunch when the door bell rang. This sent me into a panic since I was still in my PJ's. I madly ran into the bedroom and searched for my robe, unfortunately waking up Michael in the process. Finding my robe, I threw it on and answered the door to find a package I had ordered... with much to my relief... no delivery person remaining for a signature. I headed back to my computer desk to finish eating only to find no hot dog!! As if Caitlin's diapers and the Spaghettio's weren't enough... my four-legged critter grabbed and gobbled down my hot dog with nothing to spare. If I did not laugh at that point... I think I would have been institutionalized!
Anyway... You probably had to be there to find these stories as funny as I did in the end... but I hope they made you at least crack a smile!
